For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. -Psalm 139:13 (NIV)
As I was walking home from work last night, I got to thinking about pregnancy and labor pains. When I was pregnant with my three children, especially the first one, I was very nervous about D-day. I wondered about the pain. I wondered about the lack of privacy and the vulnerability associated with that whole aspect of childbirth. I wondered about the unknown. I had very little experience with children. I thought back to how, at the beginning stage of pregnancy, I focused on the fear of the unknown and how I was not looking forward to the process of giving birth. However, as time passed and D-day loomed closer and closer, it amazed me how my perspective changed. As my body was trying to adapt to growing larger and larger, and sleep was becoming less and less comfortable, I began to think to myself, “Okay, LORD, I am SO ready for this baby to be born. Can we just get it over with?” The uncomfortableness of late-stage pregnancy was outweighing the fear. I was ready to get the birthing process over and done with. I was still nervous, but I knew God would see me through whatever lay ahead.
So, yesterday as I was walking home, I thought about a similar process I’ve been going through in my life lately. God is ready to birth a new thing in me, and I have not been looking forward to the birthing process. I’m scared of the unknown. I’m thinking it’s going to hurt. I’m wondering, “What happens if I can’t do it?” Yet, when God first began talking with me about what He was planning for my life, it was very similar to finding out I was pregnant. Initially, my heart was overjoyed. I was excited. I was filled with hope. I dreamed about what a wonderful mother I would be and what a blessing this little baby growing inside me would bring. It wasn’t until LATER that the fear factor (the notion that this baby inside would somehow have to make his or her way OUT) kicked in.
Now, as I get closer and closer to the moment of “birth” in this new season of my life, the uncomfortableness is outweighing the fear. “It is time,” my heart says. It’s time to face the fear and get this over and done with. The end result will be a blessing, even if the process will be messy.
Trusting my Father to help me through…
Father, I want to step out in faith with You in this next chapter of my life. Be with me in the birthing process and give me courage and strength to make it through the messy part. Fill my heart with joy in the days ahead as you teach me how to nurture and love what You have knit together within me. I completely agree with the psalmist… “Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
I wonder, “Can any of you relate?” Are you facing something in your life right now that is a bit scary, that you’re not sure just how it will turn out?