“Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.” — Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down
“It’s humbling to start fresh. It takes a lot of courage. But it can be reinvigorating. You just have to put your ego on a shelf & tell it to be quiet.” — Jennifer Ritchie Payette
“It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” – George Eliot
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” – Joseph Campbell
It has been a year of change. No doubt about that. Hopefully, the dust will now start to settle, and life will get a little more even-keeled. A little over a year ago, my divorce was finalized. In the divorce decree it was determined that my ex-husband and I would need to sell our home, and I would have to find a new place to live. It’s interesting how we can become so attached to things … things that, over time, really don’t mean anything.
I was not looking forward to moving. I liked my house. I liked my neighborhood. Mostly, I was not looking forward to going through the mounds of STUFF that my ex-husband and I had accumulated over our almost 22 years of marriage. The thought of weeding through boxes of paperwork and unforgotten items buried in the corners of the garage exhausted me even before I began the onerous task.
When the offer came on the last day of February from a buyer who was adamant about moving in on April 1, I was not amused. Whereas I was extremely grateful that we had an offer, I was in the middle of the busiest season of the year. In addition to working full-time, I am a part-time organist at my church, and we were in the middle of Lent. Not only did I have quite a few additional church services to play for, but I had also taken over as choir accompanist, since our other organist had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few days before Christmas. Asking me to move out of a 3,500 square foot home in one month was like asking an accountant to move on April 14. It was a highly stressful time. To top it all off, the place I was moving to–a townhome under construction–was not going to be finished for another two months. I was temporarily displaced and living out of a suitcase with my parents.
Two days after moving into my new townhome, I had to fly out East to attend my son’s high school graduation and move him back home to live with me. While I was away, my two daughters had to fend for themselves attempting to find things that no one had a clue as to there whereabouts. It took me weeks after I got back to even find my pots and pans so, needless to say, we ate out a lot. Definitely not good for an already stretched budget.
We survived and are just now getting more fully settled in. We’ve made room in the garage for at least one car!
As if that weren’t enough stress on my plate, I decided to apply for a different job … a lateral move within my company … but I thought, “What the heck … new year, new life, new townhome, why not a new job? I’ll make it a complete do-over!” So, in a few weeks, I am about to embark on a new adventure with the hope of learning some new skills that will make me more marketable. I am hoping within the next year to go back to school for my Master’s. I am hoping to reconnect with my creative and less-stressed self from my pre-marriage days.
God has graced me with a do-over on multiple levels. I could have chosen to ignore the nudges He gave me. I could have chosen to accept some and decline others, but some of the circumstances surrounding the changes were too obvious to miss. My new job, for example … it was as if God was flashing a big neon sign in front of my face with a huge, flashing, boldly outlined arrow pointing, “Go here!” (Pretty hard to miss nudges like that one.)
For someone who likes all of her ducks in a row before taking on new things, those of you who have read my earlier posts know that if there is one thing that God has taught me over the years, it’s that He won’t show me the next step on my path until I take the one He currently places in front of me. Therefore, I have no idea where these new changes will take me, but I do know I am on the right path. Until He shows me the next step, I’m going to enjoy where I am at. I need not fret. I need not worry. I’m where I’m supposed to be at this moment in time, and God knows where the next stop on my journey is going to land me.
Embracing life (at the moment) …
Dear LORD … thank You for new beginnings. Thank You for giving me glimpses into my past and future seeing how You so beautifully weave past experiences and future opportunities together into a seamless masterpiece. Continue to point out Your plans for my life by presenting me with opportunities too obvious to miss. (Those flashing arrows sure are helpful!) In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.